How to write the best Neptunia fanfic EVAR!
by Supersilver46
Summary: So you want to write a fanfic but you have no idea where to start? Well sit back as I w a r e c h u Supersilver46, tell you exactly what you need to do!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 romance

All right so you want to write a Neptunia fanfic, but specifically about romance. Perhaps you want to write a Neptune/Noire story, or a Uni/Nepgear story. Perhaps you want to write about a foursome between Neptune, Noire, Blanc, and Vert, or maybe you just want to pair y̶o̶u̶r̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ your original character with the CPUs. Have no fear because I'm here to tell you exactly what to do to make your romance story a smash hit.

Step 1: Start your romance off with a bang

Now most writers will tell you that for a romance story to work, you need to have proper build up and pacing. For example, if they wanted to write a Nepgear/Uni story:

Uni paced back and forth on top of the rooftop of Gameacadami. "Ugh, why am I so nervous…" Uni said. "It's just Nepgear…" Of course, Uni knew exactly why she was so nervous, and that it had everything to do with Nepgear. Suddenly the door to the roof opened, and Nepgear stepped out.

"Uni, you said you wanted to meet me?" Nepgear asked.

Uni took a deep breath. "Nepgear, there's something I've been meaning to tell you…" Uni turned to face Nepgear.

"Nepgerar I-I love you."

HOWEVER; you're a much better a writer than those posers, so you'll write something even better than them.

Song to set the mood: watch?v=CwrRkOSIoLs

Uni-Chan paced back and forth on top of the rooftop of Gameacadami. "Ugh, why am I so nervous…" Uni said. "It's just Nepgear-Chan…" Of course, Uni knew exactly why she was so nervous, and that it had everything to do with Nepgear-Chan. Suddenly the door to the roof opened, and Nepgear-Chan stepped out.

"Uni-Chan, you said you wanted to meet me?" Nepgear-Chan asked.

Uni- Chan took a deep breath. "Nepgear-Chan, I want to have your babies."

And then they HAD SEX!

See this is a much better way of expressing Uni's love for Nepgear, who needs a proper setup, that's for all those lame writers!

Step 2: Have tension

Now a romance story should have a certain amount of tension. This'll show how the couples love can overcome the challenges to come for example:

"Uni I don't want you to see Nepgear anymore." The two of them were in the Basillicom, watching the staff bustle to and fro. Noire said to Uni. Uni was shocked by this, "Is this about the console war?" Noire nodded.

"Listen Uni, the war's gotten worse over time and Planeptune's starting to get desperate." Noire said. "There's no telling what they'll do, Neptune might even try to use you as an advantage."

"Noire, I've been to Planeptune so many times, Neptune would never-"

"I said no Uni!" Noire shouted, causing the staff to stop what they were doing, and stare at the two CPUs. Noire sighed and put her hand on Uni's shoulder. "Listen Uni, I just…I just want you to be safe."

This a shitty example though, it should be more like…

"Uni I dont want you to see piece of shit Nepgear anymore." The two of them were in the Basillcicom, watching the staff bustle to and fro. Noire said to Uni. Uni was shocked by this, "Is this about the console war?" Noire nodded.

"Listen Uni, the wares gotten worse over time and Planeptuneis starting to get desperate." Noire said. "Theres notelling what they'll do, Neptune, the bitch, might even try to use you as an advantage."

"Noire, I've been to Planeptune so many times, Neptune would never-"

"Shut the fuck up Uni!" Noire shouted and then slapped the ever-loving shit out of Uni, causing the staff to stop what they were doing and cheer because they Christmans and they were closed mindeded, and lookeded at two CPUs. Noire sighed and put her hand on Uni's shoulder. "Listen Uni,you can't be gay, or I'll fucking kill you."

See this is a perfect way to write tension, it'll also allow you to set up a death flag for a character you don't like.

Step 3: P̶l̶a̶g̶e̶r̶i̶z̶e̶ Borrow ideas

Writing a story is hard, writing a romance story is even harder. Writer's block can come up, and you'll be stuck staring at a blanc(ha ha see what I did there) screen. In that case, all you must do is P̶l̶a̶g̶e̶r̶i̶z̶e̶ borrow some one else's ideas. They won't mind at all, especially if you put it on fanfic site years after their untimely death. For example:

Whoa, ¿realmente traduces esto? No sé si eso es triste o si me alegro de que se tomaron el tiempo para hacer esto y sí me plagerized mi propio trabajo, aunque estoy bastante seguro de Google traducir va a algunos cómo lío las cosas de alguna manera.

"UNI no quiero que veas un pedazo de mierda Nepgear más. " estaban en el Basillcicom, viendo el ajetreo y el bullicio del personal aquí y allá. Noire le dijo a UNI. UNI se sorprendió por esto, "¿se trata de la guerra de la consola? "NOire asintió con la cabeza.

"escucha UNI, las mercaderías empeoraron con el tiempo y Planeptuneis empezando a desesperarse. "NOire dijo. "no se sabe lo que van a hacer, Neptuno, el perro podría incluso tratar de usarlo como una ventaja. "

"Noire, he estado en Planeptune tantas veces, Neptuno nunca-¡" cierra la jodida UNI! "Noire gritó y luego abofeteó a la siempre amorosa follar UNI, causando que el personal para detener lo que estaban haciendo y animar porque Christmans y estaban cerrados Mindeded, y miró a dos CPUs. Noire suspiró y puso su mano sobre el hombro de la UNI. "Escucha UNI, no puedes ser gay, o te mato. "

Step 4:Ignore the haters

You'll eventually get some haters who can't understand your greatness, Ignore those fuckers, who are they to tell you how to write, your mom told you to be what you wanted, and you wanted to be a great writer, delete those negative comments, all you need is praise.

Step 5: Repeat

What other writing tips do you want to learn from me?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Power scaling

So, you've come to me for advice for once again huh? Well I'll be glad to give you even more advice to make your story a smash hit! So this chapter'll be about power scaling in your fanfiction. Now most writers will say that the power scaling goes something like this:

The CPUs

CPU candidates

Villain of the week/Arfoire

Humans

Monsters

But there is one crucial factor that they leave out, the all-important, amazing, spectacular, _**OC**_!

Your OC must stand above the rest, no matter how illogical it may seem! Here is one example of such greatness:

The CPUs and the candidates laid on the scorcheed ground of the Gameindustri graveyard, their forms beaten and battered by the villain who stood above them, lauffed at them.

"HAHAHAHA, You have ben defooted by Me!, !" lauffed again.

"Youll never got away with this. Neptone said while chocking on the cock that was on the ground."

laughed, while twirling his moustache. "I will once I write your name down in my Death Note!"

then took aout a black notebook which had the words Death Note. And started to write down Neptone's name down.

"NOA! Neptone!" Nepgear shotted ass she truied to gaot up.

"Hadouken!"

Suddenly a ball ramed into , knocking him down onto the ground.

"Wot!" shouted. "Wot hit me?!"

"Rasengan!" The voice shouted and tried to cut in two, but missed and only cutted off part of moustache!

"Ay caramba!" cried. "Mi moustache!"

"Your time is now up !" said Lelouch Souske Goku.

Lelouch Souske Goku was wearing a green gi that kinda looked like the one Ryu had in street fighter, except way cooler. He also had a geass in one eye and a sharigan in the other. He wore black sneakers that had spikes on it. He was also part vampire, and was the smartest guy whoever lived in Gameindustri.

"Curses!" snapped his fingers and tried to run away. "KAMEHAMEHA!" Lelouch Souske Goku shouted and shot at causing him to die and scream.

"Curses!" "Curses!" "Curses!" shouted while being vaporized.

Lelouch Souske Goku then turned over to Neptune. "Are you all right my love?" he asked. Neptune noded while picking herself up. She had a kawaii look on her face. "I'm fine" she said and then kissed Lelouch Souske Goku on the lips, and had a bit of tounge action there too.

Nepgear was sad because she wanted to joinin too but she was too young.

8 YEARS LATER

Lelouch Souske Goku became the king of all Gameindustri and everyone loved him

THE END!

p.S TUNES IN NEXT TIME TO SEE SEQUAL OF MY FANFIC, PLEASE GIVE ME REVIEWS AND LIKES!

And there, you're all set! Your OC will become the most badass and loved creation of all time, so get out there and start writing!

What else would you like me to cover?


	3. Chapter 3 things get serious!

Chapter 3

Villains

Now what's a good story without a villain in it? I'll tell you what, its an awful story, a villain is as good as the hero in the story. Now most writers will tell you that your villain needs a good backstory and a reason to do the things they do. They'll also tell you to give the reader's the villains backstory over the course of the story. They're wrong though, because they're idiots who wouldn't recognize a good story if it slapped them in the face, and instead of giving you the reward you deserve, they give it to some TALENTLESS HACK WHO'S ONLY GOOD FOR WRITING SHITTY HAREMS IN AN MMO SETTING, and calling your work "Trash." And saying things like

"It's amazing how horrible this author's story is, I don't think I've seen anything this bad in my 10 years of being a judge."

YOU GODAMN PIECES OF- ahem, sorry about that, let me show you how to write a proper villain.

In the darkest part of Gameindustri, one man stood ontop of large tower which was so large it blocked part of the sun. The tower was completely black with silver bands running around the tower, it also had lotsa spikes on it and was surrounded by a giant moat of lave which was so hot that it burn you because it was so hot. There was also a bridge that led to the tower, so that peope wouldn't fall into the hot lava that could burn you because it was hot like the hottest fire that could've exsited, the sun.

The man hated the sun though, it reminded him too much of happy times and pubies whould wag their tales and bark annoyingly. That's why he had a cat called ripper, because he riped and tore apart the pubies whou couldn't wag their tales because ripper riped them off of them. The man wore black armor that kinda looked like that one dark knight in that one RPG, and had a helemet that looked like Darth Vater's but it was way cooler than he could ever hope for. He also wore purple steel toed boots that also had pikes on them, and had a blood red coat that was drenched by the blood of the enemies that he crushed under his feet.

"Lorde PAIN!" shouted one of his minions. The man, Lord Pain, turned a round to face the minon.

"What do you want minon." Lord Pain asked the minon. "I've come to tell you that the CPUs have defeated Orochiaizenvoldemofrieza!" the minion cried

"Wot did you say?!" Lord pain said. And then used hes sychic power to start choking the minon. Lord Pain then tossed the minon into the hot lave, causing the minion to cream in the lava because it was very hot.

"Ouch! Lord pain, this lava hurts me so!" the minon cried.

"Good, lava should hurt you!" Lord pain said, and then turned and skipped down the stairs, king all the puppy that was on the stairs into the lava as well. Who cought on fire and died.

"You maybe wondering why I turns oyt this way huh?" Lord pain said to the CPUs who had shown up along with Lelouch Souske Goku, who was now a supper sayian.

"You see one day my daddy took my toy train away from me, it made me sad so I killed him. Then my mommy showed up and started creaming, it annoyed me so I throwed out of the windows and she made a splat sound wen he hit the ground. My Grandpa showed up and tried to whoop me, and got out his belt, but I used my death note and gave him a heart attack. Then when I was in college this girl refused to go out with me and splashed coffe on my face. That's when I started wearing my mask so that noone could splah coffe on me again."

"You souldnt kill people." Lelouch Souske Goku said. "It makes you a monster." Lord pain started to laugh.

"Whats so funny?" Neptune asked.

"You are already a monster, Goku," Lord pain said as he layed dying on the ground. "After all I AM YOU FROM THE FUTURE!"

"NOOOOO!" Lelouch Souske Goku cried.

"Also am your BROTHER AND YOUR SON AS WELL!" Lord pain laughed as he got off the ground.

"NOOOOO!" Lelouch Souske Goku cried.

"Wait how does that even work?" Nepgear asked. "Wouldn't that cause a paradox? And also did you just reuse a line to save time?"

Uni sighed. "This story just keeps getting worse and worse, I swear there are more spelling mistakes than the last time."

Just then a satellite fell and crushed Nepgear into tiny pieces, while an earthquake happened and swallowed up Uni whole.

"NOA! Nepgear!" Neptone cried and fell to the ground. For some reason Lelouch Souske Goku thought he heard Lord Pain call Nepgear and Uni cheaters, and couldn't help but agree.

Then the mininon who was in the lava jumped out because he had fire powers and burned Lelouch Souske Goku and Lord Pain to a crisp.

"I am the god of the New World!" the Minion shouted.

TO BE CONTINUED

Will the CPUs survive? Will they die? Do you actually care? Find out in the thrilling conclusion to this amazing tale!


	4. Chapter 4

How to write character conflict.

So, everyone knows that for a character to be memorable they must appear as human as possible, flaws and all. After all, who has heard of a group ever getting along with each other, I mean the whole point of this series is all about the console war! As a result, I, the most amazing author in all of Gamindustri, have decided to show you everyone in the entire series as human as possible.

Neptune was lying down on the ground, shoving oodles of pudding into her face, causing all the wrappers to fall to the ground.

CURRENTLY

"Neptune!" nagged Histoire, who was a complete and utter nag. Neptune was shocked and froze in the middle of sticking her face into the pudding cup and licking the inside of the cup. "You need stop eating pudding because its bad for your diet and…" Neptune decided to ignore what Histoire was saying and kept licking the pudding cups.

ELSEWHERE

In Lastation, Noire was being her usual Tsundere self. A Lastation teen ran up to her with a small box in his. "Ah, Lady Black Heart, I wanted to ask you-" Noire whipped around, her twintails slapping the boy in the faces, before she slapped him in the face. "Wh-what d-do you think yo-you're doing b-baka?!" Noire said while blushing and picking the boy off the ground when she had slapped him.

"Ah, thank you Lady Black Heart." The teen said as he rubbed his face. "Anyway, I wanted to give you this -" Noire's eyes widened and took a step a back.

"Are y-you proposing to me?" She asked. The teen blinked, looking confused. "Ah I-" Noire then kicked the boy to the ground, her face flushed with red. "I-if you're going to propose to me at least do it right!" She said while picking the guy up off the ground again. "B-but I'd really love to be your wife." Noire blushed in a kawaii manner.

The Lastation teen only had one thing to say.

"What?"

MEANWHILE

"FUCK YOU, YOU GODAMN PIECES OF SHIT!" Blanc shouted, as she smashed her hammer into an NPC's face, sending them flying into the air like Team Rocket, they even did the twinkling thing. Mina cautiously approached the CPU who had been acting odd ever since this morning. "Ah, Blanc-" Blanc glared at Mina, causing the oracle to stop talking. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT MINA, YOU WHORE?!" Blanc shouted, causing spit to fly onto Mina. Mina took out a handkerchief and wiped the spit off her face. "Blanc you seem rather…" Mina searched for the right word to say. "…irritated." Blanc's eyebrow twitched in anger. "I'M NOT FUCKING ANGRY!" Blanc shouted while smashing in a storefront window and drinking a lot of milk.

"BY THE WAY MINA, HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE LITTLE SHITS ROM AND RAM?!" Blanc asked. Mina shook her head, "No I haven't seen them since this morning."

"SHIT!"

PREVIOUSLY

In a darkened basement underneath the Leanbox Basilicom, a blond woman was carrying two little girls with tape over their mouths. "Hehehehe…" Vert laughed to her self as she strapped Rom and Ram to a chair. She then ripped off the tape that was on the twin's mouth.

""OW"!" Ram and Rom shouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry I had to hurt you my darling sisters." Vert said to Rom and Ram. Ram glared at Vert, "First off we're not your sister's you psycho!" Ram shouted. "Second, after what you've done there's no way we'd want to be your sisters!"

Rom had tears in her eyes, "Miss Vert, why did you kidnap us from our rooms?" Vert chuckled darkly and wheeled out a laser labeled, "SISTERATRON 30017, MAKE YOUR WISHES OF HAVING YOUNGER SISTERS COME TRUE!" there were also many warnings and side effects on it, but Vert ignored those, what use did they have?

"You see Rom, Ram, this laser will mold your minds into becoming my perfect younger sisters!" Vert said while dramatically shouting at the top of her lungs. "I got this from , it's a wonderful site." Vert sighed wistfully, while thinking about the yaoi fanart she had found that they three of them could enjoy together.

"R-ram, she's drooling." Rom whispered to Ram, while watching Vert drooling while laughing to herself and twirling her hair around. Ram whispered back to Rom, "I know, it's really gross." They both turned their attention back to Vert.

"Anyway, time for your brainwashing!" Vert said while flipping the switch

MEANWHILE IN ANOTHER DARK LOCATION

Nepgear crackled maniacally as she fine tuned her device which would allow her to take over Gamindustri.

"Now it'll happen for sure…" Nepgear said while laughing like mad and turned on the machine. The machine started to shake and rattle, until Neptune came tumbling out the other end. Then another Neptune fell out, then another, and then another. Soon the room was filled with various clones of Neptune.

"Attention Neptunes!" Nepgear shouted, causing the Neptunes to stop what they were doing and look at Nepgear. "You have your orders, now get out there and unite Gameindutri under the flag of Planeptune!" Nepgear then made a pose that may or may not have anything to do with a certain fascist dictator.

"Heil Nepgear!" The Neptunes then stormed out of the room, leaving Nepgear to laugh as her evil plan was finally to come to fruition!

TO BE CONTINUED

So what other tips would you like me to give?


	5. ITS LOVIN TIME!

Harems

As you all know, the Neptunia series is full of beautiful and amazing women who are also gamers, which all of us males can agree is a rare occurrence. A woman liking a video game? How is that even possible in the minds of an idiot mastermind who knows all. As such we like to imagine ourselves our OCs with these wonderful ladies. Some may say that this is just self-insertion, but they're wrong, the CPUs need our OC's to survive in such a world, such as in this example.

It had been a year since Lelouch Souske Goku had landed in Gamindustri after falling through a portal after he had used the NerveGear to play a VR game. Standing on the balcony of a high class apartment building, he turned around when he heard someone say something to him. He then tripped and fell face first into something that felt very soft and bouncy.

"Huh what did I land on?" Said Lelouch Souske Goku as he reached around and grabbed whatever he was on.

"Kiyahhh!" Shouted Noire-san as she kicked Lelouch Souske Goku off the balcony of his high class apartment. Lelouch Souske Goku wasn't worried though, as he was a sayian who could fly, so he flew so he wouldn't get crushed by the hard ground which could hurt because it was hard so he could possibly die.

"Noire-san, I apologize for falling on your boobs." Lelouch Souske Goku said as he flew back up to his high class apartment. Noire-san blushed, "I-it's okay, anyway to you want to sex?" Lelouch Souske Goku nodded and the two of them started to sex each other. Lelouch Souske Goku put his thingy(bonus points if you figure out what his thingy is =) ) in Noire's thingy and started to pant.

"Oh, oh, oh!" Noire moned which made Lelouch Souske Goku very excited. But then he noticed something, something very horrible. On Noire's shoulder she had a tattoo that said "N+N forever!" Lelouch Souske Goku leapt off the bed,

"You fucking skank you've been cheating on me!" Lelouch Souske Goku shouted as he shoved on his underwear, and he knew it was his because his name was labeled on the underware. Noire-san was desperate to get Lelouch Souske Goku's love back, "No Lelouch Souske Goku you've got it all wrong!" Lelouch Souske Goku refused to listen to her and started to cry tears of blood because he was also a vampire(though he didn't do that sparkly shit, get outta here twilit funs!)

"You've been cheating on me with Hur! I'll git hur, I'll get hur if it's the last thing I do!" Lelouch Souske Goku shouted as he jumped off the balcony and into the Vampmobile, the cooler version of the Batmobile because it was red instead of black and had spikes everywhere an was covered in hyper realistic blood. He then drove off towards Planeptune like mad, leaving Noire-san alone in his room, who was sad because she didn't get to finish sexing with Lelouch Souske Goku.

Suddenly, Uni stepped out of the closet,(Haha, get it?) and said, "Don't worry big sister we can do the sexing toghether."

Noire and Uni then started to Lez the place up

MEANWHILLE

Lelouch Souske Goku crashed into the Basilicom and flew out of the Vampmobile.

"Neptone you bitch!" Lelouch Souske Goku shouted. "How could you betray me like this?!" Neptone then walked down the stairs, swaying her hips all sexy like.

"Ah, Lelouch Souske Goku, how nice to see you once again." Neptone said in a sexy voice, which did funny things to Lelouch Souske Goku's private place.

"Anyway," Lelouch Souske Goku brought out his choice of weapon, Nepgears sword that she used in that one game,(I forgot its name lol) "Time for you to pay for your crimes!" Lelouch Souske Goku then dashed at Neptune and tried to slash her, but she brought out her own sword and blocked his sword strike.

"KAMEHAMEHA!" Lelouch Souske Goku shouted and tried to kill Neptune with it but it missed, and Neptune got right into his face. Then she started kissing Lelouch Souske Goku passionately, which he was okay with.

"Even though ye tried to kill me, would you like to join me harem?" Lelouch Souske Goku asked while sniffing a three-leaf clover. Nptune nodded and then she joined his harem of girls in his house, which made Nepgear sad because she couldn't join in because she was way too young to realizie what an awesome romance partner he was.

THE END


	6. Halloween has come early

Horror stories

So, you've come again, well I suppose I am the best writer in the entire land of Gamindustri, no one can beat me in terms of sales! Speaking of which, I have a book signing event going on in the Lowee Sport Resort, so you can get tips from me directly, for 40.99 credits, hey I'm a very busy man currently. Anyway, do you know what sells the best in the market besides FPS's? Horror games, we make tons of money off those games when you scream into the camera and put it on VoobTube, so I'm going to make even more money writing a groundbreaking Horror novel.

You see one day I was bored of sitting around and doing nothing. It was cold outside because it was snowing like crazy, then the doorbell rang so I got off the couch to answer the door. No one was outside, but I looked down and saw the package, I picked up the package and ripped it open. A letter and disc fell out of the package. The letter was written by his long-time friend Tom, he hadn't seen Tom in weeks, but it was probably nothing.

The letter said as follows: "Look Lelouch, I'm sending this game disc to you because I know you'll do what's right, this disc is evil and if used it will unleash horrible disasters upon the person who plays the game, I made that mistake and now its all over for me…destroy the disc for my sake!" signed Tom. I picked up the game disc and I was about to smash the disc, until I saw what was written on it, "4 Goddesses Online 3" I gasped.

I love 4 Goddesses Online, and I had heard that the 3rd game was being made but had been canceled for some unknown reason. I decided to play the game a little and destroy the game later, I needed to play the game because it would help cure my depression and self-loathing. I booted the game up on my PC and the game started up. Everything looked normal, but when I pressed the start button the screen flashed and the title looked rusty, and the water in the background turned into a deep red, almost as if it was blood!

I created my character and gave him my name, and made him look super awesome, like Kirito from Sword Art Online, but cooler. I started playing the game for a while. I went into a city and tried to talk to the NPCs, but for some reason they kept avoiding me and called me a demon. It really hurt my feelings. There was an option in the menu that said "kill", I was curious, so I pressed the button and my character stabbed a NPCs dog, which caused the NPC to start swearing at me. I left the town, so I could get away from all that negativity, seriously what the hell was their problem?! Then I started hearing that one song in that one creepy pasta playing backwards, and my character suddenly caught on fire!

Then the screen faded to black for 30 seconds, before the screen lit up in a red light that looked like blood. Then I saw Neptune stab Noire with a blood sword, the blood dripped onto Nepgear's face which was also covered in hyperrealistic blood. Noire slid off Neptune's sword and Neptune did that one laugh that the clown guy in of the FF games. I cried because Noire was my favorite character, I had her body pillow and fanart of her that I kissed goodnight to.

Neptune then slammed her face into the screen, her wide eyes were hyperrealistic and she had blood pouring down her mouth after she had torn Noire's neck with her teeth.(I could do nothing but watch!) Her breath got onto the screen, and I could smell the rotten pudding on her breath.

"You've met with a terrible fate haven't you." Neptune said and then the screen faded to black for five minutes before my TV exploded. Then there was a Neptune plushie that showed up on my desk that had red liquid that flowed down as if it was hyperrealistic blood, and it had a stare that sared into my soul. I took the game out of my console and threw it onto the ground, then I went outside and drove my car onto the disc. The disc broke and then broke my tire, sending my car into the wall at a fast speed and caused me to fly out the window and into the wall.

I ended up in the hospital with all my bones broken. So, remember, never play the game 4 goddesses online 3, or you'll end up like me!


	7. Nepgear the dictator pt2

Bow down before the best girl!

Isn't chaos such a wonderful thing to have? Without chaos how could we make profit over other people's sufferings, as they feebly cling to their pathetic, insignificant, lives? Ahahahahaha- cough, cough, U-um I'm so sorry you had to witness my…episode. Anyway, I presume you want me to get on with the tips huh? Well, your wish is my command.

Histoire was, for lack of a better term, very confused. First, she didn't even need to lecture Neptune about the importance of CPU duties, she had gone to her office to take care of the mounds of paperwork she had left unfinished. Feeling somewhat relived, she had then decided to rest in her room, before she ran into Neptune. Then she ran into Neptune who rounded around the corner, shouting, "Heil Nepgear!" and marching right out of the Basilicom. Then another Neptune rounded around the corner, shouting, "Heil Nepgear!" and marching right out of the Basilicom. Then another Neptune rounded around the corner, shouting, "Heil Nepgear!" and marching right out of the Basilicom. And then, dozens and dozens of Neptune's came around the corner, shouting "Heil Nepgear!"

When she peeked back into the office, she saw Neptune fast asleep, and drooling all over her papers.

"Neptune!" Histoire shouted, trying to get the CPU to wake up. Neptune instead remained asleep, oblivious to the world around her.

"NEPTUNE!"

"I'M AWAKE!" Neptune shouted as she raised her head up from her desk. Neptune looked at Histoire sheepishly.

"Hey Histoire, I was just…taking a short break, yeah..."

Histoire sighed, "While your work ethic is as appalling as usual…" Neptune cringed at that, and rubbed the back of her head nervously.

"That isn't what I'm here for, look out your window."

Confused, Neptune then looked outside her window.

"Whoa, its attack of the clone me's!" Neptune exclaimed as a large group of Neptune's marched down the streets, intent on fulfilling their leader's dream.

All heil Nepgear!

ELSEWHERE

The Lastation teen was also confused as well. He had been trying to deliver a package for Lady Black Heart, but over the course of an hour he'd been slapped, kicked, and punched by her, and then she would start blushing whenever he'd say…anything really. He sighed and tried, futilely, to snap her back into reality.

"Listen Lady Black Heart, I need you to take this ring-" Noire blushed a deep red and then sucker punched him. "I already said, if you're going to propose to me at least do it right!" She shouted and then kicked him to the ground, before apologizing and picking him off the ground.

"I-it's fine Lady Black Heart." The Lastation teen said as he nursed his bruised…everything.

"So," Noire said with a smile on her face. "When are we getting married?" The Lastation teen took a deep breath, he knew if he said the wrong thing here, a world of pain would await him.

"Lady Black Heart…" Noire looked at him expectantly. "I'm not actually…proposing to you at all." Noire's smile was still on her face, but for some reason he felt as if he were in more danger than before. Noire leaned in close, which caused the teen to shut his eyes in fear.

MEANWHILE

"Ah, thank you Mina, the tea you bought really helped me calm down." Blanc said as she calmly sipped more of Mina's tea. The two of them were in the NEScafé, sitting at the table in the farthest corner, which kept them mostly out of sight.

"Though I'm surprised you haven't drink any, is there something wrong Mina?" Mina chuckled nervously,

"I'm just…not in the tea mood right now." Mina said while tossing the pack of B-Calm behind her. Normally Blanc would have picked up on how nervous Mina was being and would press her for more answer. Blanc; however, was pumped full of so many sedatives that she didn't notice/didn't care.

"So Blanc are you over your...


	8. The legend

Crossovers

Okay so I'm back to give even more writing tips to you aspiring youths! You see when you have a degree in writing fanfiction like me, you know exactly what the fans want, crossovers! By using ideas that have already existed, you don't even have to try to write a story it writes itself!

For example:

"So Naruto we're going to execute you know!" Tsunadu said as Sauskke amd Sakura stood there cheering for the death of Naruto. "You hurted Sauske badly, so now you must die to pay for your crimes."

Hinata-chan cried, she was the only one who would stand to defend Naruto, because she was pure and sweet, much better than the bitch with bubblegum colored hair. Her virtility was also taken away when the two of them had sex in the forest of death.

Naruto began to lauff, and Sauske got mad and stamped his foot on the graund. "What you laughing about dobee?!" Sauske shouted.

Naruto smirked, "I realized you fools would attempt to eliminate me in this manner, that's why I called for help!"

Naruto then made a fast pace of seriously fast hand signs, and then Neptune and all her friends appeared.

"Avengers assemble!" Naruto shouted while grabbing his shield and smashing Sauske's stupid head in. Hinata looked amazing as always as she kicked Sakura's teeth in and Iris Heart whipped Sakura, Neptune used her sword to cut off Tsunade's head, with Nepgear blasting her with her M.P.B.L, pausing to make out with Uni.

The bloodied Sauske and the toothless Sakura huddled together, shaking in fear of the amazingness that Naruto, his lovely and pretty wife Hinata, and the CPUs exhibited.

"A-are you going to kill us dobe?" Sauske asked as he was then whipped by Iris Heart. "You will refer to him by name you useless man!" Iris Heart shouted as Sauske cried out in pain, shouting, "Curse you dobeeeee!" before he clutched his chest and fell over, dead.

Naruto looked up from his Death Note, having wrote Sauske's name on it out of anger, he then turned to the toothless Sakura who was huddled in the corner and sobbing. Hinata moved in to finish her, but Naruto stopped her.

"Allow me my dear," Naruto said as he walked over to Sakura, who flinched back in fear. "You see Sakura, I loathe you so much, you made my life a living hell, so for now you will leave and wander the fields, facing the same prejudice and hate I suffered, you will then die alone and your corpse will be spat upon by those you called friends, then I will send you to hell where the Kyuubi will tear into you daily as punishment for mocking my darling Hinata and being useless."

Sakura was stupid so she could only stare as the others leapt through the portal never to be seen again…

THE END!

By writing a crossover, not only do you get a say in what will happen, you also get to push for your favorite ships!

What else would you have me talk about?


	9. Express yourself with color!

Hello and welcome, all I'm back from brief hiatus. You see after I held a meet and greet at the Lowee bowling alley, I began to wonder what other advice I could give. After thinking about it while giving the people free copies of my book, one such person came up to me and said, "This is shit." Of course what I found out what he meant is that my writing was, "the shit", and I gladly gave him advice on writing after he had fallen to the ground and smashed his teeth in.  
You see to have your writing "pop" you need to have color!  
Sonic the hedgehog was thinking about Neptune again. Neptune was a Colur A girl with Thin Stomach and Blue Throat.  
Sonic the walked over to the window and reflected on his Sticky surroundings. He had always loved Dirty A room with its scary, sour Sausages. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel Sad.  
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some _one_. It was the a Colur figure of Neptune .  
Sonic the gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a Hairy, Blue, Chilli dog sauce soda drinker with Lanky Stomach and Purple Throat. His friends saw him as an average, ashamed A hedgehog. Once, he had even helped a nosy Nepgear recover from a flying accident.  
But not even a Hairy person who had once helped a nosy Nepgear recover from a flying accident, was prepared for what Neptune had in store today.  
The Snowing and raining teased like Thrusting Blanc the cat, making Sonic the Hate. Sonic the grabbed a Super defined in cllor! Rainbow that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.  
As Sonic the stepped outside and Neptune came closer, he could see the doubtful smile on her face.  
Neptune gazed with the affection of Fast troubled Tails. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want To be super pregnant."  
Sonic the looked back, even more Hate and still fingering the Super defined in cllor! Rainbow. "Neptune, "I luv you, let me express my love WITH COLOR!"," he replied.  
They looked at each other with Maniac feelings, like two abundant, alert Amy rose Licking at a very Collaur Noire's wedding, which had romantic music playing in the background and two Hedgehog uncles Cutting to the beat.  
Suddenly, Neptune lunged forward and tried to punch Sonic the in the face. Quickly, Sonic the grabbed the Super defined in cllor! Rainbow and brought it down on Neptune's skull.  
Neptune's Thin Stomach trembled and her Blue Throat wobbled. She looked Love, her emotions raw like a naughty, noisy Nepgears robot.  
Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Neptune was dead.  
Sonic the hedgehog went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Chilli dog sauce soda.  
THE END


	10. Chapter 10

An intervention

N. PC looked at the Creepy Text floating above him and shuddered.

He walked over to the window of his barely lit home, kicking over discarded sprite cans while scratching at the collar he had on, and reflected on his soul crushing surroundings. He had always hated the void with every fiber of his being, the blackness seemed like it stretched on forever, fragments of text in various sizes and colors swirled around his head, and on occasion light would break through and T. Narrator would grab yet another of his friends. The frequency of the events encouraged his tendency to feel lost at times like these.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some _one_. It was the bulky figure of T. Narrator dressed in one of his expensive suits. T. Narrator also had the duty of being the warden of the void and made sure to grab an NPC every time he visited in order to write one of his stories. Suddenly T. Narrator started to walk up the steps leading to his house. N. gulped, and nervously straightened his tie and combed his hair over his right eye. His friends, or at least the ones he had left, saw him as a rookie NPC who couldn't do anything right, someone who could be replaced in the blink of an eye. That worked to his advantage though as T. Narrator had ignored him for more than nine chapters, but it appeared his luck was going to run out today, as T. Narrator pounded his fist on the door, a large remote in his hand.

"Yo N. Get out here! This script isn't going anywhere without it's new protagonist!"

As N. stepped outside and T. came closer, N. could see the glint in T.'s eye as he grinned causing N. to be even more terrified than before. "T-the script?" N. stuttered. "We haven't even written anything recently, besides that weird story where Sonic showed up for some unexplained reason,"

T. Narrator nodded, "Yes and do you remember whose idea we used to write the story?" _Oh…Oh no_ N.'s eyes widened as he tried to step away from the grinning man.

"C'mon guess I know that you know that I know that you know the answer, so why don't you just say it, hmm?"

"I-I AUUUGH!" N. fell to the floor, rolling around the ground in agony. T. Narrator had apparently gotten impatient waiting for N.'s answer and decided to press the button the remote, causing the shock collar to activate.

"Hmph," T. said as he watched the teen roll around in pain. "You know when your old friend told me you were good at this whole writing thing, I almost believed him."

"Please, please don't do this I-I can make it up to you." begged N. T. Narrator kicked N. in the chest, sending him flying back into his house, slamming against the wall, before landing back down in a heap.

"Goddamn even your voice is annoying." T. Narrator said as he walked in to the house, closing the door behind him. "See your idea ended up costing me a lot more than you think." T. Narrator picked N.'s head off the ground, before slamming his face into the ground.

"You see the boss is annoyed, it didn't get the amount of attention he wanted." T. Narrator said. "And when the boss isn't happy, I'm not happy."

"I-I can write something else," N. begged, tears pouring down his face. "I'll give you my paycheck, I-"

"Too late pal." T. Narrator said while reaching into his suit pocket and pulling out a large syringe, ignoring the writhing teen as he stuck the syringe into his neck. "You know I'm not usually they type to hold a grudge…but you made me look like a fool in front of the boss, **and no matter how hard you plead I will never forgive you, this is just karma and you're getting exactly what you deserve** "

T. Narrator grinned, "So how about we give the audience what they want?" He asked the unconscious form of the teen.

"Mpregs are all the rage these days…"


End file.
